I have since a little baby been very keen on being up all night. I have also always had a tendency to worry and feel anxious. those 2 factors had cost me on and off serious insomnia since I was around 10 years old. I think the peak were when I was around 14-15 then I couldn't sleep for a whole year in the night, in the day I slept very good!
Before it use to be like self torture lying in the bed the head spinning, 1000 of thoughts, nothing clear just a wheel going faster and faster with no control or breaks. Pressure over my chest making it hard to breath. Eyes so dry for the lack of sleep, the skin feel like unfirm jelly and the bags under my eyes down to the nose.
It got better, but insomnia and anxiety will always be my biggest challanges in life, and it will always return. I think in all self-help the key is self observation. when I learned the teqnics of Vipassana (indias oldest meditation tecniq developed by Buddha) much changed. In vipassana you basically focusing on self observing, by observing yourself you can learn your patterns. And by learning your patterns you get to know yourself better and can make deciouns that can break a destructive tendency in you. All this by following your breath, your breath is your biggest guru, you are your biggest guru. What ever thoughts come along, you just register them. Don't evaluate them, just accept. I have diffrent teqnics for this
a) I imagine that every thought I blow a bubble around and on the exhale it goes away up in cosmos...
b) I imagine it like a movie playing and the thoughts is the manus and for every thought I have to try to make it into cinema.
c) I imagine the thoughts like groceries and register them one by one with PIP, PIP
d) I count number of thoughts for 1 min
e) If I have particularly unpleasant thoughts that is repeating in my head, I use to invite them in for coffee, in my stomach i imagine them sitting there having a business meeting or a conference and I also use to put characters on them (like the black jazzman he has a mean nose, hat, black suite, and pointy shoes, and he represents my lack of self confidence, when he shows up I listen to his complains, tell him not to worry and after the coffee good bye!) haha this might sound crazy but what is important it REALLY WORKS! Putting characters on your feelings make you separate them from "the real you" and you dosen't let that 1 infectious thought become your life. You confront it in a professional way. Don't get to personal :) It's just feelings! It's not YOU you are HOLY you are pure light and consciousness and this feelings is not the whole world, it will pass... Just like this life will pass much quicker than we think so better try to see things for what they are. HAKUNA MATATA :)
Some other general advice:
- Do Yoga, meditation, pranayama it's not hocus focus IT WORKS...
- Eat calm and grounding food. Things that grow in the earth, like poataos, also advocado and honey, kamomill and a bunch of other herbs can help to balance. Different oils as well.
- A holy place where you can sit and feel safe (decorate it with positive iteams that makes it feel cozy and bring good energy)
- Dance, just put on good music that you love and let the body do exactly what it wants.
- Scream, or sing go out in the forest and let it all out.
- Talk to someone you know understand.
- Have a day routine and rhythm.
I hope this helped someone. I am still working on myself, it's a life time project that never will be finished either perfect. But the most important thing is that I made a decision to try to be happy. Sometimes I am not, as I wrote a post about for a while ago, then I try to rest in that sadness. But in general I try, and it's a hell of a lot more difficult than being negative. Negativity is much more EASIER.... I am the victum bla bla bla... But happiness is a full time job... But it's worth it and imagine each, yogalesson, meditation moments or just simply things you like as an investment for what is actually your life...
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